Modesty isn’t something you hear much about in today’s world. In a society that glamorizes teen mothers, idolizes celebrities having children out of the realm of marriage and “fitness” motivation pictures that are bordering on the edge of pornography, modesty is a dusty concept on the shelf of our hearts – even for Christians. Modesty isn’t just a subject for women, men need to understand and practice it too. And – we need to understand it not through our own perceptions and definitions but as God has created it. You see modesty isn’t about not wearing short skirts or guys being shirtless — it’s an attitude.
This attitude isn’t difficult to learn, in fact the Bible keeps it quite simple saying, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” Modesty is WORSHIP. Our body is the home of the spirit of the living God, and that does include what we do to this, our temporary, physical home.
God says this also, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Modesty is INTENT. This is where both men and women alike are held accountable for their actions. Everyone has intentions that can be pure and honest or contaminated and deceitful. The Bible describes our intentions this way, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” It doesn’t matter if you are a Christ follower or not, we are prone to be deceitful, we must ask Christ to transform our intentions and give Him reign in our hearts, actions and in every aspect of our physical form.
– POPULAR CULTURE: Your beautiful and sexual, show it off, flaunt it, be provocative and earn your worth and attention there. That feeling of embarrassment? You will get used to it, just one more button open. – GOD: I look at your heart, see how it’s pure and noble, you have it reserved only for me, I love you so, why would you want to not reserve all of you for me? The truth is, I have covered you by grace and ransomed you. You need only please me. – RELIGIOUS INTERPRETATIONS AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: God doesn’t approve of you. Sure he made you, but cover up! He made Adam and Eve cover themselves so it must be shameful to feel free, to feel loved and good when you are expressing yourself. He is enough, but only when we are dressed and covered entirely also.
The Bible calls us to action when it says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” What do our little eyes see, think about, check, update daily? Even hourly? Social media. There behind your keyboard anyone of us can craft the identity we desire online in our social ME-dia pages. But at what cost do we do this? Influenced by what we see while online can be far from good, noble or pure. We run a dangerous risk of sabotaging our heart, intentions, even our self worth. It is a self-destructive form of identity theft.
You’re not the only one looking in the mirror at your “make up”. Those phone apps are filled with motivational photos (we try to duplicate in our real life) of models at their top physique. Men, do you feel pressure trying to live up to the 6-pack abs of Calvin Klein models? Women do you feel you have to compete with bikini models while your feeding a family of four, working and volunteering at church? Everyday-people like you and me using social media who don’t have hair and make-up artists, no Photoshop expert or personal online chef, can still manufacture a “made-up” persona. These days we’re all learning how to crop and filter our photos, even if it is only slightly with basic tools to “shape our modesty”. We willingly yield to the pressures to be fit-perfect instead of being authentically beautiful. In reality, many of us are healthy and looking pretty “normal” we’re just not the Facebook extreme. The cost is our identity in Christ. The cost is our self-worth. The cost is the message to our kids.
When we elevate images of athletes and competition-perfect physiques above the weight of our identity in Christ, they become an idol.
Yes, God entrusts us with his greatest creation: our body, His temple. This human body is a stunning display of Gods handiwork. But we are called to first cultivate our self worth in Christ alone. After we’ve sincerely and fully done that then we can work on our aesthetics. If we don’t do that we send a dangerous message to our children, girls especially. Youth grow with a shallowly planted identity of God and Jesus – a Savior who loves with conditions based on how “good” they are or how “good” they look. This happens often. When it does you, me and the next generation, put God second and out our value in our own desires for a beautiful body, a popular Instagram profile or a million Facebook likes. We idolize ourselves over Christ. We lean more on our own self-love over His simple and profound love for us.
Coming to terms with dependence on makeup, realizing obsessions with social media and pursuing God to be central in every part of your daily experience – Does this seem extreme? If it seems a little to religiously overboard then consider the reality of today. We are pinning fit models to Pinterest while lamenting the news reports of young girls and boys confused about self-worth.
Satan is the great deceiver. He wants sin to look innocent, to look like something that won’t really impact the here and now. He has crafted sin to be enticing and addicting. Satan’s false accusations may seam like faint whispers in the back of your mind but they eventually scream louder, “You don’t have that body, you will never reach your goal, you’re not good enough, you have to be perfect!” These thoughts and the people who plant these thoughts are energy zappers.
We don’t just hear the lies, we’re enticed by them, then we pin them continually in front of us and ultimately celebrate the lie. The Bible, that modest Bible warns, “Let no person deceive you by any means. You know God perfectly well, but when you don’t treat him like God you pretended to know it all. If that’s what you want, that’s what you get. When you trade the true God for a fake god you listen to those who keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They know perfectly well they’re spitting in God’s face. And they don’t care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!”
Short boy shorts, tops that are nearly lingerie and bare glistening skin are rampant on the Internet in “fitspiration” posters and photos. The question here is not “what” or “how much” but “why and to what end?”
If you had the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel would you be happy then? I am an aspiring fitness model. Seeing a person’s body is a source of motivation and even a display of discipline and dedicated nutrition. I seek God to define the pictures I create to communicate discipline and dedication to God. This is how I aim for personal modesty in all photos. Sure, I am tempted to show how when I work hard, train hard and eat clean I can be shredded. But why do I feel that need? Looking close, my intentions would be to get praise, to get attention, to “show off” and that is everything short of glorifying God.
1. Be aware of how you are dressed. Praying doesn’t have to be some rare and lofty practice. When you look in the mirror at yourself talk to God, ‘Hey, what do you think?” 2. Do you FEEL beautiful? Serving God isn’t a feeling but when you’re in the presence of His Spirit you’ll sense a beauty that you know is real. 3. Don’t intentionally look for attention, from either sex. Instead look for the opportunity to Be Life to others. 4. Quit trying to prove something. By grace you’re already awesome. Naturally have genuine encounters and relationships with others. You’ll be their source of motivation as they pursue simplicity and humility.
From Bible history we know that King David royally messed up. However, even in the midst of it, the merciful God of Israel proclaimed that he was a man after God’s own heart. How is that possible? God saw David’s heart, his motive and it was there where he was successful in chasing down God, in putting the kingdom first. Our sins are resolved with Jesus’ sacrifice, what God is interested in is our motive, our WHY.
A low cut dress, a short skirt, or a provocative picture that we post online. We can hide behind the computer screens and online profiles and never really feel the hot flush of shame, but God sees our motives. If our motives are pure, what place does any of that have?
Take a look around. Everyone has an idea of how they think they should look and behave. What does God have to say about that and what does it mean to you? Modern ideas of biblically centered modesty must go beyond concepts of temptation, stirring lustful thoughts or causing a person to stumble. Our aim for true biblical modesty plunges deep into our heart in where motive resides. True biblical modesty isn’t a legalistic check list we are handed. It’s an awareness of Christ in us, of Him radiating from us. It is because he first loved us that we love. It is because He showed us unmerited favor that we extend favor. Modesty is about being legal and lovin’ it! “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” When this attitude of modesty is in your heart it flows from you.
In the health and fitness culture as well as the much broader experiences of everyday life it is easy to be personally motivated by our individual agendas and goals and even acceptable to be self-absorbed. That is no longer “extreme” it is simply what people do to be successful. So, again, having a worldview and personal mindset that sincerely considers God is often considered a dusty concept – an outdated and ineffective way to live life. If you’re daring enough to live your faith and pursue modesty then get ready for what may feel like a gutsy adventure – a “risky” putting yourself out there in front of others.
As you pursue making stronger connections between your faith in Christ and your fitness lifestyle you may find yourself thinking or even saying, “See how my body looks, beautifully made by God in his own image” and “look at how I have disciplined my body, like Paul says and brought it into submission – God is my strength to do this!”
However, it can be all too easy to tip over that line and be prideful in that way of thinking, craving that “like” on Facebook or that glance in the gym. Pride in being fit and self-controlled can become an idol, as easy as anything else. Do you put that perfect physique or anything else that you are trying to attain above Christ? I love using the app instagram but it’s filled with inappropriate photos of women (and men) in the gym. I try to bring some balance with modest progress pics. I set my boundaries and keep them. But I can’t lie. When I dig deep, that prideful part of me, that I strive to die to daily, feels elated to see those “likes”. I find myself sometimes thinking about it, “There were twelve likes an hour ago. What about NOW?” Check, login, idol mode ON.
John MacArthur asks, “How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. [and everything else for that matter]. Is her intent to show grace and beauty? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself, flaunt her beauty or attempt to allure men sexually?”
Men too should strive to show strength, gentleness and humility like Jesus, instead of trying to flatter women with their body, their cut biceps, their fashion sense or their cunning personality. When we focus on worshiping God, we will naturally consider how we use our body, how we dress and how our actions, behaviors and words represent Christ. When we pursue making our “self” more inconspicuous THEN the God in us will more easily be seen and found by others.
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. – Audrey Hepburn
So what DO we show? We are created beautifully in the image of God, but his image flows far beyond what rests on our shoulders and covers us. His image is of grace, mercy, love, humility and servanthood.
When we humbly and honestly look at our motives where our modesty is involved what we find may not please God or us. If our “version” of modesty is based in pride, or even false humility where we take a haughty stand on how righteous we are, we take the space we have to give God glory and fill it with ourselves. When we are modest, we can show the gospel, the good news! Christ came to free the captives and there is nothing more binding, addicting or destructive than women or men battling their self image, the repercussions and obsessions that being immodest brings. A woman who stands tall with dignity and confidence in God her maker while showing a little of her body, what she and her creator deem acceptable for her spirit, has true power, liberty and freedom. Manufactured modesty is short lived– you can’t fake it till you make it. Either it comes from Christ deep in your spirit or not.
So many women desire to stand out, be unique, be different and be noticed. Not as the center of attention, but as the apple of someone’s eye. We are already the apple of Gods eye–his masterpiece. His love and sacrifice is a covering for us, our imperfections, our sins, shortcomings, he covers those with love and mercy with intimate apparel. Figuratively, He wants to trade our consignment shop dress, for a perfect designer dress from Rodeo Drive. He replaces our best attempts with the best in the world.
He calls us his own. When we turn down his designer love, we dismiss his free gift. Keep his free gift of love, put it on and with each passing day it will look even better on you. You will stand out like you have always longed. In fact you’ll be noticed for a beauty that you can’t even imagine – a beauty that certainly you could never create yourself. You will be set apart as you embrace His covering of love and allow it to be what you display for others in your life. Want to get noticed? Assert your modesty for Christ as an act of worship — body worship.
When we allow God to define our modesty, it allows our beauty to come from his character. Wear his love like a necklace bound around your neck with his joy plunging deep into your being till you overflow with it. Let God have the canvas of your body and be the author of your modesty. He will design and display all that is good, right and pure to draw others to Him. God’s words of life alive in you will win the hearts of others, not your v-neck Michael Kors. These are the secrets (well they’re not really secrets after all ) to understanding the amazing beauty of modesty that God intends for you. If you want, you can call them pretty little secrets.
1. Was there a time in your life where your view of modesty shifted? If so, when? Did it coincide with a spiritual change? 2. Do you have any fears surrounding embracing a biblical view of modesty? 3. How can your time in Gods word cultivate a deeper, more freeing and powerful view of biblical modesty? 4. Do you feel pressure to be fit, beautiful or perfect from social media pages or apps? How can you combat that?
